Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I'll light the fire...

February 11, 2014 * snow falling all morning creating a beautiful winter wonderland outside... brainstorm inside...

* My Mom's Birthday * would be her 66th... woke up with the song "Dance in the Graveyards" playing in my head: "I don't wanna rest in peace - I wanna dance in joy - I wanna dance in the graveyards!"  A song my mom never heard, but that reminds me of her last wishes.  She didn't want a traditional funeral - she wanted a celebration!!  A celebration of her life, love, joy, blessings - the good stuff - which is what she put priority on in her life.  She requested the song "Our House" by Crosby, Stills, & Nash to be played at the celebration: "I'll light the fire.  You place the flowers in the vase.... our house is a very, very, very fine house." 

She lived her life with grace and was a lovely example of living out the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you," which she taught my children.  While she would have loved to be here to watch her grandchildren grow (3 of them when she died, ages 4 and 5 1/2, and 5 of them now, ages 9, 7 1/2, and 1 with 2 sets of twins), she faced death as she lived life, full of grace, courage, and love.

Now, she is an angel in our lives - regardless of beliefs/realities of angels - because her love echoes in our hearts and souls, her guidance lives on in our memories, her fire still burns in our lives, part of her may have sailed off into the mystic of death, but she still lives with us in the heaven of our hearts.

Recently, my boys asked me to play the game "Life" with them, and I heard my mom's memory telling me to say, "YES!"  She would've loved to be here to play the game with them.  So, of course, I said yes and I told them it was because I heard Grammie tell me to - which got quite a reaction at first as kids think literally!  I explained that while I didn't see or hear a ghost, that I did hear her memory inside me, guiding me, and I told her, "okay," and that I also heard her saying we should have something sweet baking in the oven while we played the game. :-)  So, we made brownies and played a great game of Life together and shared the fun, loving embrace of Mom/Grammie surrounding us. <3 

And today, we'll bake a cake and celebrate the birthday of one of the greatest blessings of our lives!  Remembering my Mom's love for others and for nature and for life itself and hoping to PAS it on.  Thank you, Mom, for lighting the fire and playing your love song!  I'll keep the fire burning in our house and keep saying, "YES!" to life.

P.S. -

For my Dad - Thank you, Dad, for carrying out her request of you, "to love the kids and grandkids for her, too!"  We are grateful to have you in our lives!

For my brother - While our mom was not a very religious person, she was a very LOVING person!  I know my brother has wondered about her soul's current residence.  These thoughts are for him, along with the above picture that I made for his family:

"God is love and those who abide in love abide in God and God abides in them." 1 John 4:16

Author Christina Baldwin addresses religious dialogue in her book, Storycatcher: "Everybody is on a learning curve in this conversation.  God is mystery.  We may stake our lives on one definition or another, but that doesn't resolve the mystery."

A friend's recent post on facebook also addresses this concern:
"Buddha was not a Buddhist.  Jesus was not a Christian.  Muhammad was not a Muslim.  They were teachers who taught Love.  Love was their religion."

* She resides in LOVE. *

"Play your love songs..... la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la......."

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Age of Aquarius

[Text from journal page scanned above: :)]

Age of Aquarius... This Aquarius is turning 38.

Thinking of my birthday coming up.  GRATEFUL

<3 No such thing as too many candles! <3

Every year is something to celebrate ***

My mom sure would've liked to be here to celebrate more than 62!  (She would be 66 this Feb)

Mom's legacy of love & respect & zest for life! <3  Her love & attitude lighting my flame.  PAS it on...

How beautiful elderly are - with laugh lines & life lines & such stories written all over  - I think old hands & faces are beautiful, especially holding very young ones in their hands or gaze. <3
Something special about grandmothers!!! (& hope to be one someday)

Think of Desiderata (by Max Ehrman) & "gracefully surrendering the things of youth".  I'm glad to give up the stupid choices & insecurity & attitude & feeling of being lost & peer pressure & physical abuse.  Glad to discover self-love & inner guidance! <3

Life's a Dance you learn as you go...

Recall feeling depressed on 30th birthday but attitude has definitely changed!  Being with my Mom when she died opened my heart - broke it, too, but also expanded it.  And now, I can somehow value life more while also anticipating the next mysterious evolution when the time comes ~ Into the Mystic. 

Each day is a gift <3 
Celebrate & Enjoy the Present!
Love More (Now!)
Fear Less (Future)
* LIVE *